Do it anyway.
When people hear what I do for a living, they often say, “Omg I would love to do a boudoir shoot, but….” And the “but” is almost always one of two things: “I need to lose weight first,” or, “I don’t have anyone to give the pics to.”
I love you ladies, but both of those excuses are 100% bullshit. In fact, I think someone who gives one of those excuses is actually the most in need of owning their sexy with a boudoir shoot.
The idea that you need to lose weight is particularly pervasive and can be really hard to overcome. I mean, I know from personal experience, the sheer horror of taking pics of myself at [insert whatever weight I was at any given time] has always been present. But how amazing would it feel to take the pics anyway and to find a way to love your body as she is now? I’m not saying you have to want to stay at your current weight, especially if you don’t feel healthy and confident there, but I AM saying that you have to accept your body as it is right now. Accept it, show it love, and work with it instead of against it. We women are locked in a cycle of hate with our bodies, and with so many unrealistic magazine images, preconceptions of beauty, and expectations of shape and size, we cannot be sending our beautiful body those vibes too. We have to combat that negativity with positivity, self-love, affirmation, and praise. And if, over time, you make healthy progress to a different size, you will have a portfolio of the sexiest “before” pictures anyone has ever had!
You have to accept your body as it is right now. Accept it, show it love, and work with it instead of against it.
Do you know how you feel when you take a great selfie or see a pic of yourself that you finally like for a change? You feel incredible, right? Why not allow someone who is a professional at seeing you through a lens of beauty to show you what they find? To give you a few amazing images of the you you are right now to cherish? It’s powerful stuff. And the more you can love the current you, your future goals won’t be set because of other people, but because you love who you are and want to treat your body with pride.
(True story – I recently had to take some photos for a business venture, and I am very not happy with my weight at the moment. Delaying the shoot was not an option. Allll the things went through my head, including just jumping out the window to avoid the shoot altogether. But I did it anyway. I have only seen a couple of them so far, and… I’ll be honest, I was upset when I saw them. But sometimes our own medicine is best. I have to do the very same work of looking at the woman in the photos with love and compassion instead of judgement. I owe it to her to find her beautiful just as she is. She needs to know that I have her back. It feels so much better to take that approach than to tear to myself down.)
A boudoir session, whether it is a gift for someone else or not, is really and truly a gift just for YOU.
And to the women who think they can’t do boudoir because they “have no one” to give the pics to… it breaks my heart that you think you are not worthy of giving this gift of self-love and feminine celebration to yourself, from yourself. Yes, I shoot dozens and dozens of clients who are specifically doing their sessions with the goal of creating a wedding, anniversary or birthday gift for their partner. And a boudoir album DOES make the most amazing gift. But I know a secret. It is a secret many of my clients have already learned… A boudoir session, whether it is a gift for someone else or not, is really and truly a gift just for YOU. Behold, some evidence:
“I wanted to do a boudoir session as a gift to myself for how far I’ve come in my self-love journey! I have always thought boudoir photos were amazing and had always wanted to do them, however, I never thought I was pretty enough. This session really made me realize that the only approval I need is mine.” – Trianna
“Seeing myself in a new way has really changed my relationship with my body. I see myself now as more powerful, more beautiful, and perfect just as I am. I also have more motivation to treat my body with more love and kindness as well.” -Tressa
“Sexy means feeling comfortable in your own skin and loving yourself as you are. We get caught up in what social media portrays as real life, but in reality it is a false perception of the truth. If you love yourself and are kind to yourself your sexiness while shine through. It doesn’t have to be one shape, color, or size. As Rupaul would say, ‘If you don’t love yourself how the hell you gonna love someone else.’” -Mimi
“We all go through phases when we look at our bodies and feel like we need to improve upon it, and especially during the winter months, when we put on our winter coat weight, we may lose some love with our bodies. This shoot helped me remind myself how grateful I should be for my body and although I consider myself as confident, it helped boost my self esteem and remind myself that a little winter weight doesn’t make me any less sexy. “ – Diane
“The confidence I got after doing this was amazing. I think even more so because it came by surprise. I went into this doing it for my husband but came out of it with so much for myself. I have never seen myself in that light before. -Stacey
If you are a single woman, the most attractive thing you can do to meet someone and develop a relationship, if that is what you want, is to give yourself the gift of confidence and self-love. A boudoir shoot is exactly what you need.
Ladies, please don’t wait to do the things you would like to do until you weigh less or have a partner. For goodness sakes, we would let all of life slip by if we waited for those two things to always be true. Don’t buy into the bullshit, invest in yourself and just go for it!
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