Own Your Mind
When we don’t own our sexy, we can’t truly know ourselves fully. The strength of our beliefs shape our reality, including how we feel about our bodies.
You actually are what you think.
Now, I don’t mean that you can think you are something and instantly become it. Or that all of your circumstances in life are determined by your thoughts. The power of pretending doesn’t work quite like that and there are societal forces at play that we can’t dismiss.
But for many many things, we have power to affect change with our own minds. If you don’t believe something first, you definitely aren’t going to bring it into being or “manifest” it.
Belief is the first step.
Then we need solid action. The mind is the most powerful force in our bodies. Our beliefs shape so much of our reality. Yet, much of the time, we don’t even realize what we are doing to ourselves by thinking self-defeating or limiting thoughts. We influence ourselves and others by what we believe.
Let’s say you think you’re fat. So you wear frumpy clothes, and you look frumpy. And so you feel shitty. Then other people see you looking frumpy and feeling shitty. And those other people then possibly now think you ARE frumpy and shitty (or at least see that you have no sense of self-worth which also gives a shitty impression) and perhaps treat you that way too.
And then guess what?
You feel shitty, frumpy, fat, and worthless. It’s self-fulfilling.
Your thoughts become reality.
Your script defines you.
Seeing Ourselves How Others See Us
My awesome client Erica had been to my photo studio for two photoshoots already. She came in when she weighed about 260 pounds and rocked her curves in a sexy photoshoot. Then she came in again having lost almost 100 pounds. It was clear that she felt great about herself for losing that weight but that she still had some hangups.
She made sure to warn me a couple of times that I was going to have to do so much Photoshopping on all of the saggy skin she had from the weight loss. I have definitely had clients who have gone through significant weight loss with some saggy bits that I tightened up and smoothed out in Photoshop for them. I am happy to do that for clients, so I told her not to worry about it at all.
It just wasn’t even true for Erica.
The truth was that she had been doing pilates like a mad woman and taking great care of herself. Her body was lean and toned after her significant weight loss. But she thought she had saggy skin, so even during her photo viewing session, she was still saying, “Oh my God, you have to fix my saggy skin. You’re going to have so much work to do.”.
She had brought a friend with her to the shoot that day who helped me forcibly make Erica look at the pics and see for herself that there wasn’t any saggy skin there! It was just a toned body that she had, literally, worked her ass off for. Erica hadn’t broken out of the mindset of the girl who weighed 260 pounds.
After that session, she was able to truly feel sexy. She felt like a million bucks on her wedding day and wore a bikini at her destination wedding in front of all of her guests! Owning your sexy gives you the knowledge that you can conquer your world.
Conquer Your Mind, Conquer the World
My client Amanda said it best. After her session, she felt like she could “conquer the world” because she’d conquered parts of herself. And, of course, we know the opposite is true. Buying into the beliefs that you’re anything less than sexy is draining. We’re surrounded by it, after all.
Like my client Chelsea says, it’s exhausting to shut out the “constant flood of soul-crushing images and insults” we’re bombarded with in the media and society.
Another client Naomi struck upon the reason why…
“Even though I know those magazine covers are Photoshopped and not real, and I know that celebrities have personal trainers and time to work out every day, I see them and always feel worse about myself. It’s an immediate, visceral reaction.”
What’s good to know is working on your mindset around this is the path to setting yourself free and owning your sexy mind!
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