Own Your Voice
When we don’t own our sexy, our call to change the world goes unheard.
Do you remember the Dove ad that showed a video of women saying mean things about themselves? If you didn’t, you must go do a search for it and watch it right now. (Seriously. I will wait while you do that…)
How powerful was that?
Now, think about this: How often do you say mean things to yourself?
Personally, I catch myself saying hurtful things to myself all the time. It could be about my weight, about how I look without makeup, about how I look in clothes and out of clothes. And the self-snarkiness isn’t just about physical things.
I can also be cruel to myself over mistakes I have made at work or in life. And to what end? This treatment doesn’t heal us or help us correct mistakes. It brings us down and keeps us down.
We women don’t just say mean things about ourselves. We have a nasty habit of judging and critiquing other women. How damaging is it that women feel in competition with each other? We compete for the attention of men. In fact, we’ve been trained to do that from birth,.
When we begin to criticize each other, we’re actually playing out a narrative established by men in the first place. We cannot abide by the misogyny they have attempted to dominate us with and we certainly can’t do it to each other.
We need to use our voices to build each other up — not tear each other down!
We need to speak honestly and offer compliments to ourselves and other women.
Your Voice Is Your Message
Erica, a client of mine who went through an amazing weight loss transformation, is someone who is using her voice to get involved in the weight loss community. She encourages others to find what they love about their bodies.
“My self-expression has transformed exponentially once I realized that I am sexy,” Erica told me.
So I want you to say that aloud to yourself right now. I AM SEXY.
And then say it again with more gusto.
Your voice isn’t just your words; it is your message to the world.
That message comes across through behavior, too. Being confident and modeling confidence for others when she can is something my client Chelsea tries to do. It’s important to her for curvy women to see other curvy women feeling comfortable.
I’m saddened that many of my curvy clients choose to keep their photos private out of a sense of shyness or even shame. Chelsea smashed that idea to bits and proudly shared her photos in order to encourage other curvy women to do boudoir sessions.
When you own your sexy, using your voice becomes more genuine. One client Amanda told me that since her boudoir session, she trusts herself and her opinions more. And my client Naomi has definitely had more confidence to communicate her thoughts, opinions, wants, and goals.
Do you struggle to say say nice things to yourself?
You are not alone!
Try this exercise out to build up your loving voice and quieten down the mean girl in your head: Every time you catch yourself saying or thinking something negative about yourself (or someone else or your situation), immediately say 10 positive statements that counteract it. At first, this will be pretty hard to do. You will have to stop for a few minutes and focus on it. If you actually take the time to do this, you will see two important changes happening. One, you will really take note of how often you allow yourself to complain and dwell in the negative. And two, you’ll make major strides in your positive voice becoming the dominant one.
Having confidence helps all aspects of life. Being aware of your voice and using it to spread love to yourself and others is one vital way to build your confidence and own your sexy.
Want to learn more about the Own Your Sexy® Experience?