LOVE YOURSELF

What IS sexy?

Over the years, I’ve interviewed several past clients and asked them to spill their hearts out about their boudoir sessions and their ideas about what sexy means and how it impacts various areas of their lives.

I was overjoyed by their responses. I loved the commonality among them, even though they came from totally different women, and hearing about the positive effect the photoshoot had had on them.

The first questions I asked were: “What does sexy mean to you?” and “What does owning your sexy mean to you?”

These are some of their stunning responses:

“Sexy is a confidence within yourself that makes others drawn to you. It’s a charisma and a swagger that doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with sex or looks.”

“The term ‘sexy’ to me at this point in my life means being able to feel liberated from today’s standards, rules, and directives, created predominantly by men.”

“It’s more broadly about anything attractive and exciting; it doesn’t just come from your body. If I’m having a witty conversation, and I’m being (or think I’m being) funny and clever, that helps me feel confident and sexy. Feeling sexy makes everything seem easier and more fun. When I feel comfortable in my skin, I feel like I can face anything.”

“Sexy is about an attractiveness that comes from beauty, confidence, and expression.”

“Feeling sexy is synonymous with feeling confident. When I feel sexy and confident, I attract all the positive elements I desire. Good vibes out and better vibes in! Owning your sexy means so much more than just loving yourself. It represents being fearless, being positive, and being authentic to what makes you glow.”

“Sexy at its core is confidence. Owning your sexy means finding confidence in your appeal at all times. It means never apologizing for occupying space. It’s a fire inside that lights others up when they see it.”

The main theme in those answers? Confidence.

“When I feel sexy and confident, I attract all the positive elements I desire.”

Sexy = Confident

So if sexy equals confident, how does not owning our sexy affect our lives?

It can prevent us from loving and nourishing our bodies, from being grounded in the primal essence of our being.

It can hold us back from embracing our sexuality and sensual natures. It can stop us from wielding our personal power and hinder our ability to have healthy relationships. It can stunt our ability to speak our truth in the world. It falsifies and limits the conversation we have with ourselves. And it stops us from truly reaching self-actualization, from creating the most meaningful and positive framework for ourselves in the world.

Being sexy, feeling sexy, owning your sexy isn’t just something for wild women, sluts, young women, single women, or married women. It is for everyone. Every woman should own her sexy and her power.

Put on gorgeous lingerie. Make yourself feel amazing. Understand your emotions. Harness your thoughts. Get your point across.

Being sexy, feeling sexy, owning your sexy isn’t just something for wild women, sluts, young women, single women, or married women. It is for everyone. Every woman should own her sexy and her power.

And I’m specifically talking to you “good girls” out there because you may feel out of your element thinking about being sexy or the idea of letting your sense of sexy pervade your entire life.

Do you consider yourself a good girl? I know I always did. I was the bookworm, the president of the honor society, the captain of the debate team, the younger sister who cleaned up after her brother’s wild parties — and sometimes her parents’ parties too. I always (thought I) knew what I wanted, and people always assumed I knew what I was doing.

Psychologist and author Rachel Simmons published a book called The Curse of the Good Girl in which she offers an apt description of how society defines a good girl:

“The Good Girl was socially and academically successful, smart and driven, pretty and kind. But she was also an individual who aimed to please (people pleaser), toed the line (no opinions on things), and didn’t take risks (follows the rules). She repressed what she really thought (doesn’t get mad ) and didn’t handle her mistakes with humor (has to do everything right). The Good Girl walked a treacherous line, balancing mixed messages about how far she should go and how strong she should be: she was to be enthusiastic while being quiet; smart with no opinions on things; intelligent but a follower; popular but quiet. She would be something, but not too much.”

Does that sound like you? Does it sound like how people see you? Or how you assume they see you?

There’s nothing wrong with being a good girl. At all. But I think it’s a label, whether we assign it to ourselves or have it imposed on us by others, that can limit us — especially when it comes to something like owning your sexy. You know what I think about limiting our sexy? Screw that!

You don’t have to live up to anyone else’s expectations or norms.

Owning your sexy isn’t public property for other people’s consumption — although people will definitely notice a change in you.

It’s private work, in your heart and soul.

It doesn’t matter what you wear or how outrageous you are.

Owning your sexy is simply a state of mind.

        xo Laura

Want to learn more about the Own Your Sexy® Experience?

© 2009-2017 BRANDAURA PRODUCTIONS, LLC | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED |  CLICK HERE FOR OUR TERMS AND CONDITIONS + PRIVACY POLICY | FORMERLY KNOWN AS RUE BOUDOIR™. OWN YOUR SEXY® IS A LUXURY BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHY STUDIO AND EMPOWERMENT COACHING AND RETREAT SERVICE IN NEW YORK CITY, FOCUSED ON CELEBRATING AND EMPOWERING WOMEN. OWNED AND OPERATED BY WOMEN, FOR WOMEN. LOCATED IN THE HEART OF MANHATTAN IN A PRIVATE STUDIO. WE PHOTOGRAPH WOMEN OF ALL SHAPES, SIZES, COLORS, AND AGES. FOUNDED IN 2009 BY PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHER LAURA BOYD, WE BELIEVE ALL WOMEN ARE BEAUTIFUL, ALL WOMEN ARE SEXY, AND ALL WOMEN DESERVE TO OWN IT. OWN YOUR SEXY®, RUE BOUDOIR™, AND THE BOUDOIR DREAM CLOSET™ ARE ALL TRADEMARKS OWNED AND MAINTAINED BY BRANDAURA PRODUCTIONS, LLC. 134 WEST 29TH STREET, SUITE 1010, NYC NY 10001. 212-564-7430.